-i just need reassurance.

god.i miss you so much, you dont know how much you meant to me. you were my favorite person on this earth. you cared about everything i said whether i was talking about school or a hamburger..you listened and didnt complain. you argued about the stupidest things and i always got sooo annoyed about it, but no i look back and all i want to hear is “it wasn’t 8:00 it was 8:15.” i miss going to your house and see you sitting on your love seat writing in your clip board, or watching a game. i miss drinking your gaga soda, and eating the strawberries you always had in the fridge for me. i miss going out and eating tomatoes out of your garden. i know you’re up there with mema, the woman you have loved for soo long. but im jealous. i want you hear. and i know it’s not right but everytime i see an old man all i can think is that god should have taken him and not you. i should never think that, and i know you would dissapprove to know i think that, but its true. if i could have one thing in the entire world it would be for you to ask me to see if there was a tick on your back, or to “doctor your face”, or go check the mail, or to do any of the things im so used to. i love you so much. i will see you one day, you are the greatest man i have ever known.

What if i told you i’m still in love with you? That being with you was THE happiest time of my life, ever, ever, ever, ever. I just want to know…is it possible? me and you, again? Are relationship had sooo many fragments and i know you didn’t/don’t give a shit about me…..but i just want to be your’s again. i love you so much. I miss your smile, and your laugh. i miss how we would stop to kiss in the middle of the road for 20 minutes. i miss playing in the snow with you, and swimming in the creek with you, i miss kissing you on the little boat in the creek. I hate how things ended. why. you were my first, and last love.